why...


i dont feel good recently.
i feel that im always on the verge of breaking down.
im impatient, rude, and very violent.
i feel so vulnerable.
i feel like shit.
have i lost myself?


but dammit.
i always have this switch somewhere up in my brains that switches my behavior and mood easily.
i can be crying my eyes out one moment and laughing out loud the next second.


christmas is just 2 days away.
somehow i wish i was somewhere else.
somewhere far far away.
somewhere where i can feel excited, feel happy, and feel at ease.


anyway,
my dog has been found, thank god.
a kind neighbor found her roaming around alone and decided to bring her back home because of the rain.



how many times do i have to go through this?