the end.

20th december, year 2006. the time now is 07:57 am. you must be wondering why im awake. well. apparently, i wasnt awaken by any particular reasons or whatsoever, but perhaps you might wanna know whats keeping me awake.





honestly, i find the world a sickening place to be in. because everyone's so fucking stupid. and fucking fake. why must there be lies? why must people bitch about others? why are some people so stupid? why are there people who think they are smart but in fact, they are really annoying and stupid. why. why do people talk about love. what right do they have to talk about love? why are the people around me talking about love? what is love? all they say is shit. the sight of people makes me sick. so scram people. scram outta my sight. because i never wanna see anyone anymore.




basically, im outta love. or was i ever in love?
if only someone bothered.
and that very someone, is none other than myself.




and i once told someone that if one party puts in his or her best in any relationship while the second party did not, when the end comes, the party whom did not lift a finger's effort to maintain the relationship will be the one in regrets, because the other have gave his/her best.




so much for my words.





im feeling pretty stunned. but i guess i've found the reasons.





have got work later. but i stil cant seem to fall asleep. its gonna be a bad day ahead. oh dammit. xmas's the time where you spend time with your loved ones. and its 5 days more to xmas. and sadly enough, i feel unloved.




the days you held my hand and told me all about love.
the days we laughed till we fell asleep.
the days i felt so worthy of living.
the days we fought.
the days you told me all you wanted was me
the days
.
.
.
the days i could hardly remember now.
it has been quite awhile...




maybe you're right.
some people are not meant to be,
no matter how much you yearn for this.




goodbye my love.





you failed me.